Gochugaru Girl provides a round up of the April Fool jokes that came our way yesterday.
The ‘worst’ one was from Junior 3 who is in France at the moment where traditionally paper fish is stuck to other people’s backs. The victims of this prank are called Poisson d’Avril*.
After a hard day slogging it out at his French language class, Junior 3 must have been inspired to vex his parents. Thus he whatsapp-ed us when we were having dinner with guests:
Junior 3: Parents, I need my EHIC card details asap I’ve lost it and I need it
Junior 2: You okay?
Junior 3: Fell during high ropes course. Have to spend the night in hospital assessing what it is
Mr Gochugaru: Are you OK?
Junior 3: Yeah can’t walk but will hopefully be alright…they say I’ll be healed fully in 6 months – 12 years
Junior 2 (proving that girls are smarter than boys): April fool?
Junior 3: Happy April Fool’s everyone!
Junior 2: It was an April Fool’s guys don’t worry…
Mr Gochugaru: Haha very funny.
Or not funny, as it seems, since Mr Gochugaru really left the dinner table (without informing me), went to our file and retrieved the European Health Insurance Card details requested by Junior 3.
So this is what I have to say to Junior 3: Bad boy…I am stopping your pocket money for a month.
The next bad boy is a friend who timed his monthly family newsletter to drop into our Inbox at 8.02 a.m.:
“Dear Gochugaru Girl
Spring is here! Well almost. And what a RELIEF! To hear birdsong and see the sun brings such joy! Hurrah! Our heating seems now to be working, but thankfully we don’t need it as much!
I thought it best to get the big news out of the way first. This has obviously been quite a significant year of transition and change – and one of the key issues has been the desire for greater clarity about where to focus time and effort. Wonderfully, this clarity has at last now come, undoubtedly thanks to your prayers. It may surprise those who have known me for a while, but I’ve already started to get into training – swimming every day helps with this. But this is only going to get much more intensive, not to mention intrusive, in the coming months.
Yet it will fulfil a lifelong dream. You may have heard that Andrew Lloyd-Webber’s ex-wife is heading to the International Space Station as the first singer in space.
Well, would you believe it…? I have been chosen as one of the elite few to join her… I will be the 9th space tourist. So I will be the first preacher/theologian in space. An anonymous donor has kindly stumped up for me (several millions, I gather). All I can say is that it will be out of this world. Can’t wait to tweet and preach from there. You can send me your suggestions for passages to exegete from orbit… But in the meantime, it’s going to mean a lot of sweat, Russian language learning, and loads of science and maths stuff (which aren’t really my strong point). A SERIOUSLY steep learning curve. Pray on…”
Yes, I totally fell for that: the sender is an extremely credible chap, has friends in high places (and I don’t just mean God) and is the sort of person you can imagine someone liking enough to spend several million (Pounds? Dollars? Roubles? How much does it cost actually?) sending him into space.
Or maybe…someone wants to get rid of him? Hmm…
What would you eat in space…and would I want to go there without some creature comforts?
Creature comforts include a reliable car and an endless supply of rice. Gochugaru Girl and Mr Gochugaru have only driven Audis, hence the excitement:
“Audi has commissioned a limited edition A8 model called the 5.5 that comes with a feature no Bentley or Rolls Royce offers.
There’s nothing worse for a businessman on the go than to not be able to find a place that serves your favorite food. Everybody hates a non-sticky onigiri or tasteless ramen.
That’s why Audi’s already innovative A8 long wheelbase sedan has transformed itself into a catering service on wheels. Japanese and German engineers collaborated for several years in order to seamlessly integrate the central armrest at the back of the car.
Temperature and pressure controls, a timer and numerous other settings have replaced traditional climate control functions. But who cares about being hot when the rice is perfectly cooked, right?
And as part of their endless pursuit of tailor-made comfort, the interior of the A8 has been lavishly re-trimmed. Gone is the black leather, replaced by cream and green upholstery, just like the one you’d find in a traditional restaurant.
A matching set of tea cups, plates and bowls have been tailored and will be delivered to each buyer of the A8 5.5, together with a lifetime supply of premium rice.”
I would definitely go for the Audi 5.5. Just add some raw fish sliced with my new Samsung knife and we have the perfect meal-on-the-move.
*The image of jolly Mr Zedel courtesy of Brasserie Zedel.